Chapter 5: Creator’s Shame
Re-Visioning the Hero, A Story From Sestina’s Chapel
Stop it! Bat-Bob bellows, as the Harley spins tight circles around Creator
faster and faster each new turn. You’re centrifuging your hero!
There are laws about fondling a tale too young to be known as truth!
What? Creator ceases his inner ‘I want a Hero’ musical expression.
Come up with another tune. Bat-Bob yells. ‘I want a Hero’, judging
from this psycho spin, is eclipsing your ability to focus on healing!
Shocked, Creator now searches a song that focuses on healing.
Bat-Bob’s spin slows. No, no! Please don’t stick me with that song Creator!
I can’t help it! It’s just what came to mind… really. I’ll try not to judge
you, Bat-Bob sighs, but really? Eclipse of the heart? Yet, I am a Hero
who can ride a Harley and heal, even with sappy songs. Now, do expressly
what the song says – use the ’turn around’ to reveal your inner truth.
I don’t understand what you want me to do. I’ve said the truth!
No, Bat-Bob corrects, you’ve told me what you feel. Healing
involves turning to disempowered and low-worth feelings expressly
to discover who you ‘are’ in truth. Ah, discern my own shame? Creator
offers. Bat-Bob nods. Just like your new plot – it’s the work of a Healing-Hero.
Now, you feel Hero has taken your power, is that your judgment?
Yes…but with that dang ‘turn around’ song cycling, the judgment
seems less black and white. Bat-Bob queries, Is it true
your power and worth has been taken by Hero?
Well, Creator considers. No, I mean, not completely. But I’m not healed
am I? No, Bat-Bob agrees, we need to replace your feeling with truth. Creator,
Can you tell me three ways your power and worth now express?
Maybe. But why three? Three turn-arounds lock in new neuro-paths expressing
your beliefs to yourself, Bat-Bob explains. Oh. Uh – there’s my awards and judging
from what I’ve created before, I can do it again. But he’s telling people, Creator
begins to whine, that I am a weak creator! I have to shut him up. That’s the truth!
Is it true you are weak? asks Bat-Bob. No! I just told you I’m not. Heal
me. Stop with the grilling, I’m not the problem here, it’s Hero!
Next thing you’re going to be saying is my new plot’s undeserving of Hero!
Well, let’s turn that around, is your new plot deserving of Hero’s express
talents and ability to draw audiences? Bat-Bob is quiet while a healing
ray of morning’s light enters the room. Is it possible, Creator, that the judgment
you want to vanquish Hero for, is something you fear might be truth?
Bat-Bob watches awareness flow over the face of Creator.
Ugh! My stomach churns! You’re right my Healing-Hero, who am I to judge
if my new plot’s expression of shame to empathy’s path will deliver new truth?
I feel ashamed, horribly un-healed. What if it’s true I’m a weak Creator?
© Lori Fleming, 2014
Total Eclipse of the Heart, sung by Bonnie Tyler